Your Man is Friends with His Ex, so Now What

Picture Courtesy of Bossip

Picture Courtesy of Bossip

You have just met the most incredible man of your life.  He’s smart, handsome, and funny. He has a great sense of humor, loves his mom, and opens up the doors for you. He pays for everything, and all that jazz. The star in his crown, he’s even respectful to women.  As a matter of fact, he’s so respectful to women that he’s even able to stay best friends with his ex.  If you are like most females on this Earth, this is where loving of his respect for women ends.

Now, while most of us women, actually kind of respect the “idea,” that a man is still friends with his ex, I don’t know many women that can handle it.  Think about it. Just think about the things your man does with all  his friends  Just thinking about it can cause a lot of problems, and a lot of self-doubt, which can be the lethal injection to ANY RELATIONSHIP, no matter how good or solid it may be.

So below are 5 tips to help you better handle your man deciding to be best friends with his ex.

Tip #1: Stay Calm – Look, since she’s his ex-girlfriend, she was there before you, and nine times out of ten, she will be there after you, so there’s no reason to get all crazy.  I’m also guessing, you knew that he was friends with her before you two got together and in the beginning you were cool with it but now that it’s been 6 months or so, you’re starting to get tired of it.  Well I have news for you chic, suck it up.  Unless he’s breaking plans with you left and right to be with her, and putting her before your relationship, there is no reason for you to go all ham on him because he hangs out with her every once in a while, or because his mother is still cool with her.

Tip #2: Trust your Man – It sounds simple right?  And it should be.  You made this guy your boyfriend, so therefore he must’ve displayed some honorable qualities, so trust your judgment and trust your man.

Tip #3: Talk it out – If his friendship with his ex is bothering you that much, then yes, you should talk to him about it, but be prepared for nothing to change.  Also, don’t scream and yell at him, or start calling her names, or saying things like, “She’s a whore, or a slut,” because all that’s going to do is make him defensive and run to her more.

Tip #4: Take a look in the mirror – As females we have a hard time taking a look at ourselves, especially if we’ve dated a few assholes in the past.  However, maybe that’s just it.  Maybe you are still holding on to the fact you dated assholes in the past, so now you think that’s what he is.  That’s never good for anyone, so before you go to tip #5, make sure you take a honest look at yourself.

Tip #5: Leave the relationship – And finally, if after everything you have done, you still feel like you can’t trust your boyfriend, then you need to seriously evaluate whether you need to continue to be in the relationship or not.  Look at it this way, no matter how much you may love someone, you can’t make them love you, and you can’t force trust.  If you truly do feel like you can’t trust him, then you need to leave the relationship, because there’s no point in you both being miserable.  Now, if you decide that you can trust him, then by all means, stay in the relationship, but remember, since you have decided to stay in the relationship, there is no reason to nag him anymore when he says he’s going to hang out with her (unless of course it crosses boundaries, and then if it does, you two need to talk), or roll your eyes whenever he casually mentions her name.

Like this post?  Want to see more? Have any tips or ideas for upcoming posts?  Well if so, then you can contact Kitty LaRue below.

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