Ladies Please Stop Settling

Picture courtesy of E Harmony

I will never understand why women keep settling.  There is just so much “D” in the world(and good ‘D’ at that), that I don’t think I will EVER understand.

Over at Madame Noire, there is an interesting article about women who basically try to make Mr. Wrong into Mr. Right because they are so desperate to get married.  Take a look.

Via Madame Noire:

You’re willing to settle down with just about anyone

Have you ever found yourself trying to make serious commitments to a man you just met or have only gone on a couple of dates with? Are you already matching up your first name with his last or imagining how your children will look? Pump your breaks, sis. Jumping into a relationship and trying to get all Cinderalla with any man who smiles at you is not the move. Slow and steady wins the race and marriage is supposed to be a life-long commitment, so try being more selective about the man you are willing to give your heart and time to. It may save you from potential heartache, headaches and thousands of dollars for a pricey divorce.

You’re obsessed with all things bridal

Are you the type of woman who frequently tries on wedding dresses for no reason at all? Are you always pricing and checking out engagement rings even though there is no sign of a future engagement in sight? Are you up to date on all of the latest bridal couture or subscribed to all of the bridal magazines? You may be more enthralled with the thought of having a wedding than actually being married. Try asking yourself why you even want to get married in the first place.

You put a timetable on every relationship

While you should have standards and know what you’ll put up with in a relationship, you shouldn’t go into one saying that you’ll only stick around for two years tops and then a ring has to pop into the picture. Sometimes you just have to let things happen as they will, because when you do, you can enjoy your relationship much more without worrying a great deal about deadlines. You’re not taking a test! Plus, it’s often when you least expect it that the best blessings come into your life…

 

You find a way to slip marriage into every conversation

Can’t make it through a conversation with your guy without mentioning marriage, children and the house with a picket fence? Are you able to steer a discussion on just about any subject in the direction of a marriage proposal and the future ? Sharing plans and aspirations for the future with your significant other is great, but when it gets redundant, it seems as if you are dropping hints or trying to send some sort of subliminal message. Pretty soon he’ll begin to wonder if marriage is the only thing you know to talk about. This can be pretty annoying and a sure sign that you may be a bit too eager for that ring.

You put a lot of pressure on him. Aka, You pull the guilt trip…

Do you frequently try to use someone else’s new engagement as leverage with your man to get him to pop the question? Are you giving him the silent treatment or walking around slamming doors each time a family  member or friend gets married while you’re left hand is still ringless? This isn’t cool. Forcing someone into a marriage isn’t going to solve your problems, in fact it can do the exact opposite and intensify them. Trying to marry someone who isn’t ready to marry you is a recipe for disaster. If you feel as if your time is being wasted or you’re being strung along, leave. Guilting a man into marrying you isn’t the move. Besides, you shouldn’t have to coerce someone into marrying you. You’re the prize and any man who takes your hand should be honored.

You obsessively refer to your biological clock

Are you guilty of discussing how time is ticking away on your biological clock during first dates? You should probably stop doing this immediately! One, it freaks men out and makes them think you’re desperate and in actuality, you may be a little desperate. This certainly isn’t first date conversation. I realize that getting older can be a bit frightening to those who still have aspirations of getting married and having children, but letting a potential love interest know that you’re in a race to jump the broom before your eggs expire can make things a bit awkward and uncomfortable for everyone involved.


Basically, it’s the reason you do everything in your relationship

When your intentions for doing things for him are all based on the hopes that he’ll find you to be marriage material as soon as possible, you might be a little parched for a ring. When you go out of your way to do things for him not because your intentions are pure (and you would want someone to do the same for you), but because you want him to somehow have an epiphany about you, it’s not the best look. There shouldn’t be an ulterior motive when it comes to being a good girlfriend.

Look, a lot of women have done at least one of these things at one time or another, but the bottom line is, chill the f out, live your life truly for you, learn to be truly happy with yourself, and let God handle the rest.  If you try to push it and/or rush it, you may end up a Mimi Faust or a Karrueche Tran, or a Kim Kardashian or worst (I’m not sure what could be worse being compared to a human cum dumpster, but I’m sure there is).

Like this post?  Want to see more? Have any tips or ideas for upcoming posts?  Well if so, then you can contact Kitty LaRue below.

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